


Everybody Loves the Oji-san

by satalderihannsu



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, Rice ball, inappropriate use of a mirror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-24
Updated: 2014-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-18 14:21:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2351522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/satalderihannsu/pseuds/satalderihannsu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Enough exposure to Kotetsu T. Kaburagi can have drastic results on the perception of reality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everybody Loves the Oji-san

Kotetsu wiped condensation from the mirror, raised the razor and eyed himself. He arched his eyebrows, then furrowed them as deeply as they would go. He curled his lips to their fullest extremes, then smiled widely. The smile turned into a wild, toothy growl. “Rawr.” The sultry atmosphere steamed over the hole Kotetsu had wiped in the water on the mirror and he had to scrub it with his towel before continuing on to tend to his terribly ferocious facial hair.  _Yep. Still got it_ …

*^*^*

Karina held her knees tightly to her chest. She was at home, on her bed, and the very picture of a perfectly average high school student. A goofy, deep voice crooned about why it was important to take a break. She closed her eyes, savoring each honey drop of  _his_  voice. She even began to sway before she caught herself. _“Why_? Why  _him_? That useless man!” She threw her pillow hard enough at her stereo to skip the CD playing back to the beginning of the song. Karina didn’t know why she liked him, Kotetsu T. Kaburagi. She couldn’t fathom what was so wrong with her that  _he_  appealed. After all, he was just some old…  _dad_. He was tall and strong, sure, but above all, kind. He was caring, sure, but so invasive! It’s like he got into everything and just… made sure you were okay.

She closed her eyes and listened as the song played again. She thought about Kotetsu’s face, warm and too stupid to be anything but open. Warm brown eyes and kind hands in her hair…

Karina sighed and allowed herself a moment of an aching heart. Then she sat up fully in bed. “Those… jerks!” She stood and ran over to the stereo. “How could their CD chart higher than mine? It’s just not fair!”

*^*^*

Antonio eyed his friend. “Oy, you’re too blasted to be able to get home, aren’t you?”

Kotetsu spoke from the surface of the bar, onto which his cheek, like himself, was perfectly plastered. “Eh? Nawww… I’m fiiiine. A-okay in every way, cowboy!” Kotetsu giggled at his cleverness.

Antonio opened his mouth to chastise him more, but the vulnerability of his friend charmed him. He seemed so small and helpless—more like a kitten than a tiger. “Whatever you say.” He patted Kotetsu in the cap and marveled at how much affection let one put up with an idiot. He reflected that over the years, their friendship had run so deep that such an affection could build. He thought of all the small foolishnesses, and smiled again.

“Hey, what’s the cow so happy about?” mumbled Kotetsu, noting Antonio’s soft grin.

Antonio turned his pat into a short, sharp  _bap_. “Thinking about idiots who make trouble and what will eventually happen to them in the afterlife.” Antonio harumphed loudly for effect.

“Ahhhh, no need to be so rough. You’re a beast at times, you know?” Kotetsu managed to sit upright and rub his head.

Antonio, meanwhile, reminded himself of the limits of friendship and that there were very specific limits to  _friendly_  love, even as he ruffled Kotetsu’s mussed hair under his hat. The bartender offered only a raised eyebrow, which Antonio glared down easily.

Then he went back to petting Kotetsu’s hair as his friend drunk-napped on the bar.

*^*^*

“Sky High! Please tell us, is there anyone  _you_  admire as much as your fans admire you?”

Sky High welcomed the question. He knew the answer instantly. “Yes! Definitely!” Again, he wished he could let his face be seen, so his sincerity was known. He would have to make up for it with the expressivity of his motion and words!

“I have always admired Wild Tiger!” The shouts of the press died down.  _Ah, good_ , he thought.  _They can hear me now._  “Yes, I have admired Wild Tiger as a Hero to look up to. He has always put the well-being of the people first, and that is what a true Hero does! Wild Tiger is brave! He is unafraid of anything! When he was King of Heroes, I looked up to him very much. He is the very model of Hero I would like to be, the soul of nobility. Except without the fines! Yes, I would like to be like the Wild Tiger of my dreams, without the fines!”

Sky High saluted the press twice, then bade the crowd farewell as he soared into the air. Yes, today was a good day. He had meant every word he’d said, and Wild-kun was very much in his thoughts lately. He was truly inspirational. He dreamed of the day that Wild Tiger would pat his shoulder and tell him how he had done well. One day, he could win Wild-kun’s praises, and they would, together, be forces of justice!

But that would, for now, continue to be a comfortable dream. In the meantime, Sky High performed a gentle loop-de-loop and let out his own “wild roar”in honor of the occupant of his thoughts.

*^*^*

“Oi, you going to be lonely tonight?” Nathan waved out of his car.

“Na, nah—I’m used to sleeping alone,” Kotetsu called back.

“No one should get used to such a sorrowful thing. Come back, let li’l me take all your troubles away.” Nathan sang at Kotetsu. He knew that Kotetsu would turn him down, like always, but the offer was open.

“It’s all right, Fire Emblem. You don’t have to pity an old man like me. I’m sure you’ve got a wild night ahead of you, and I just need to get into bed to sleep.”

“Your loss!” Nathan said. “Maybe I’ll go bother that cow for a while.  _He_  knows how to party.” Nathan revved the engine in his new Cobra.

He watched Kotetsu walk away, hips swaying in surprisingly stylish trousers. Ah, the man knew how to dress, how to hold himself—perfecto! Without turning around, Kotetsu called, “That’s a great idea. Next time, maybe!”

Nathan watched until Kotetsu turned at the street corner then sighed. Now there was a beautiful man, and he didn’t even know it! He’d wait until the day Kotetsu noticed. That’s what sexy friends did for sexy friends.

*^*^*

Ivan looked in the mirror, then at his list. He had finally begun to stretch his powers, as per Kotetsu-dono’s instructions. Well, suggestions, at least. He glared as Ivan Karelin suddenly became the figure of a great oni. Then the Mayor. Then a giant snake. He went down his list, experimenting with changes and testing how large or small he could go and still have strength in his limbs. He tried moving to see what was harder or easier.

And then he transformed into a shape he had tried before, that of Wild Tiger. He stared at the body in the mirror and smiled. He grinned at himself and began to unbutton his shirt…

*^*^*

Barnaby considered his feelings for the man already called “partner”. These feelings, should he even call them that, were certainly not ones to be discussed or put into verbal form at all. After all, their ratings were incredible exactly as things were. But… And there was lately always this “but…” hanging over him.

Barnaby pulled up on his computer screen the file on Kotetsu T. Kaburagi. Lately it had accumulated more photographs than anything else: photographs of Kotetsu falling into a pool, of Kotetsu knocking over a grocery stand, tripping off the karaoke stand… “Ah, hapless,” said Barnaby to himself. He realised that if haps were stern, Kotetsu would be on a street corner shaking a tin cup. He sighed and rubbed his temples, wondering why he kept a file on his computer of a man to whom he had constant access. He removed his glasses and remembered. He wondered if he had any more aspirin.

*^*^*

Agnes Joubert stared at the moniter. She fanned herself a little as she watched the action on screen. Definitely exciting. There was just something about Wild Tiger these days. He really did look heroic. Maybe it was the suit, but he looked built enough to lift trucks, Hundred Power or no. Yes, perhaps some men just got better with age, after getting over a… what she would generously call a rocky patch.

But now? As rock exploded outward toward the camera and Wild Tiger stood atop the rubble, hands on pleasingly narrow hips, Agnes felt a bit of a quiver in her chest. She fanned herself idly with one hand. “Close up, camera 2. Holicam, get a shot panning around and up, if you can. I want every angle of that man!”

“But Miss Agnes!” came the distressed voice of camera 3, “Wild Tiger hasn’t rescued anyone, and Fire Emblem is pursuing two suspects right now.”

Agnes frowned. “Then get the shot quickly and get  _on_  it!”

_But get that shot… especially from behind_.

*^*^*

Saitou watched the numbers dance before him. He could increase the concentration of this or that compound, trade out maneuverability for heavy-hitting impact. Or maybe some stretch could be traded for some storage space for more cable for the Tiger Shoot. Oh, the possibilities! Saitou’s eyes gleamed with delight.

“Oh, Tiger… You polygons are perfect for holding all my dreams!”

Saitou whispered in loving delight at the 3D-rendering of a wire frame on his screen. Oh, his Wild Tiger, this perfect balance of durability and proportion… Saitou had never felt such love!

*^*^*

Kotetsu looked at his work in the mirror. Perfect. It took work to keep his beard perfectly trimmed, but it was always worth the effort. “After all,” he said aloud, “this beard is what everyone finds so attractive about you, Kaburagi T. Kotetsu!”

END


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